ROADBLOCK and Panic Attack

Handling rejection is something that no one is really great at, and I certainly am no exception.  But handling a VISA rejection to the country where you are scheduled to conduct research for your thesis one business day before you depart…is absolutely brutal.

Now, I am sure most of you are thinking “but this doesn’t sound like Ashley, it is SO last minute!”  No – it is not like me, and it isn’t.  I have been working with the Embassy for over two months now to obtain a precious research visa to Myanmar.  Many people told me I was crazy to try, because they never issue research visas.  However, the problem is that traveling under a tourist visa, you are not permitted to speak to the locals.  It was going to be physically impossible for me NOT to do this.  Seeing as how several alums from our program had been arrested and detained for this very issue while conducting field research in Myanmar, I decided I would avoid jail time and try my luck using ‘legal’ means.

The ugly and uninviting Myanmar Embassy in Bangkok

The process, which began over two months ago with my initial application, has been less than pleasant to say the least.  I am unsure why the country is so hesitant, but I have now submitted an application over four times with six letters of support and countless influential people helping me along the way.  I am not sure why it has been so difficult, but one younger, perhaps inexperienced Embassy staff member indicated that it was because I was an “American with a Political Science background coming from a University with ties to Aung San Suu Kyi and the NLD.  We think you might go try to meet The Lady.”  In the beginning when he mentioned this about a month ago, I was honored that the Embassy thought I was important enough to meet The Lady, and daydreamed about an opportunity such as this!  But today – after over a month of writing letters guaranteeing that I would not engage in political activity or start a democratic opposition I realize it has been nothing but a pain!  She isn’t even in the country while I am there!

I walked to the Embassy Friday, June 22^nd, holding my passport, my hands violently shaking.  This was it.  They always say there are those moments where you can’t turn back, and you can’t change things – and this was it.  Sure, I have had shaky hands before, and this wasn’t my first big performance/competition.  But this was the culmination of nine months of hard work, long hours in the library, blood, sweat and tears.  And today was the last day the Embassy was open before my pre-paid, scheduled flight to Myanmar left on Sunday.  I had hired a translator for three weeks who had taken time off work, I had scheduled meetings with important officials and NGOs, and I couldn’t change them.  Worse-off, was that given my two week vacation, my field research six week “gap” quickly became a four-week mandatory.  I couldn’t postpone, I couldn’t delay, and I couldn’t change.  I couldn’t go back.

My good friend and wonderful classmate Nin and I got up early on Friday, now known as V-Day (Visa Day).  We decided perhaps it would be best if I personally didn’t go into the Embassy, and so she went in to speak with authorities from the Embassy with my precious passport while I paced the street nervous around the corner.  She came out several LONG heart-racing minutes later and said, “Ash, you have to come back at 4pm.”  Ok.  So it’s not a NO, but 4pm – wow, they REALLY keep you hanging until the last possible second.  The office closes at 4:30pm.  So there was no Hail Mary pass available after this…it really was down to the wire.

The precious research visa!

 To end the long and dreadful suspense…I got my visa.  It was the longest Friday of my life, and I never want to relive that again.  I am incredibly thankful to all of my friends and supporters who helped make this possible, without which I never would see this holographic visa stamp in my passport at this very moment.

Now that those dreadful days are over, I’m off to scramble to pack and prepare for the field!  I leave in less than 24 hours and have A LOT to do, but couldn’t be MORE EXCITED :)

Ring Ring! Hello, Ashley, This is the Real World Calling. It’s time to come back…

White Water River Rafting on the American River - Happy Father's Day!

After a whirlwind two weeks which included a welcome home party for my Mom from the Philippines, packing up an entire dorm room to move home, visiting Rotary family and friends, and ended with rafting down the American River for Father’s Day, I found myself back on a plane wondering how in the hell two weeks went by so fast.  I was excited to go back to Bangkok because I missed my friends, my apartment and my cheap $3 fish, papaya salad and noodle dinners, but I dreaded what was to come.  

Reality and the real world were two difficulties I knew I had to face – and I knew this time, they would both come as slaps in the face.  To me, there was nothing more important in the world than being home, and I actively made this decision without a hesitation, well-knowing that taking two weeks off a precious one-year Master’s was near-impossible.  I told myself that this was my vacation and I was entitled to have a little fun, and can return to the mayhem soon enough.  But I didn’t think that my “vacation” would be so BUSY and jam-packed - I wound up coming home tired from my two weeks off!

Is there a HOLD button?!

The minute I got home, I hit the ground running.  I had four days to prepare myself before I boarded a plane for Myanmar to begin my field research for my thesis, and I knew I was already behind with most of my classmates having entered the field over two weeks ago.  I was ready and worked through my surveys, interview questionnaires, and bookings to ensure that I had meetings set up with the right people, agencies and organizations, and that I knew what questions I was going to ask each one.  I have secured a head translator who has been wonderful in helping me with my research, and who will accompany me the majority of my time in Myanmar.  He will also help me hire other members of our research team, who will help us go out and survey the local villagers...

Kate's Graduation

On Saturday June 9^th, after spending hours battling the sun and crowds for seats in the bleachers (and parking!), I was overlooking a football field with tears streaming as I watched Kate throw her hat up in the air and graduate.  In that moment alone, travelling the over 10,000 miles with the stress of finals and my thesis and crappy airline food was worth it.

 

Anxiously waiting to see the graduate from the stands!

I had never been to another university graduation besides my own, and sitting on the other side of the stadium looking at the graduates is a much different perspective.  It was a sea of people and I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to find her between the other 6,000 graduates.  As we texted each other our whereabouts using markers such as “the big ugly speakers” or “behind the obnoxious family with the color coordinated outfits” I heard a distant cowbell, followed by Kate screaming.  There were ten of us in the bleachers that day to support Kate in matching green and gold flower leis (Cal Poly colors!) and as soon as we spotted her jumping up and down on top of her chair, we all stood up cheering.

Kate had two graduations – one with the entire university, and then one for her college and department.  We had a great time that weekend with dinners, drinks and dancing and truly celebrated her accomplishment in style.

Introducing...The Graduate!

Dancing over dinner!

I feel incredibly honored to have been able to be there for such an important day, and cannot gush enough about how proud I am.  

Upon graduating, Kate has secured a coveted working holiday visa…in Australia, and will spend the next year working and traveling down under.  I am particularly excited that she is coming East – and will only be a few hours away as opposed to over 24!  

Kate, I am so proud of you for your incredible accomplishments and really look forward to our Aussie + Asian adventures.  I love you lots.

Counter-Culture Shock

Fifteen dollars for a sandwich?!  No no no.  Wait – HOW much is a beer!?  A t-shirt is $20?!  What happened, why is everything so expensive?

Coming back home has been wonderful, but it certainly hasn’t been an easy adjustment.

For starters – my stomach has struggled more to adapt to food coming home than it ever did when I was in Asia.  I ate my body weight in milk and cheese the first 24 hours I was home and have never felt more sick in my life.  Asia doesn’t have milk cows, and has to import all of its dairy – which makes things very expensive, especially for a poor student.  Cheese is difficult to find, and when I can find it, (usually at Rotary events) I skip the tempting chocolates, crepes and other desserts and sacrifice all of my stomach space for cheese, because it is so rare.  Coming home to cheese, milk and dairy was incredibly exciting – except not for my stomach.

Having been in Asia for so long, I didn’t realize how little I had heard English until I came home.  Waiting for my luggage in the airport, I found myself inching closer to random strangers, just to eavesdrop on their conversations, because I hadn’t heard so many people speak English in so long!  Going to the Giants game, I struggled to give my undivided attention to the game (in part because Buster Posey was on the field ;) but mainly because everyone in the bleachers was speaking English, and I had never had the chance to eavesdrop on so much gossip in months!  It was bizarre to enjoy overhearing random conversations between strangers, but when in Asia I never have the opportunity so this was truly exciting!  Of course, I do understand some Thai, but it requires so much concentration to understand that normally on the subway home from class I zone out because it is too difficult for me to follow conversation in Thai.  Having everyone around you speak a language you understood, even if you didn’t necessarily want to listen, was something I hadn’t had in a while!

Parking – is something I never had to do in Asia.  Living in Bangkok you rely on public transportation, walking or taxis and tuk tuks to get you from one place to another.  When you change your habits, you almost forget the old ones…Having to find parking in downtown San Francisco, at a graduation, or at Wal-Mart for that matter, was a complete nuisance and something I had entirely forgotten.  Actually – DRIVING was something I had completely forgotten.  I realize that I have not driven a car for more than two months straight – since I entered college.  At Lehigh I didn’t have a car, and subsequently moved to New York City followed by Bangkok…it turns out I haven’t done much driving or parking ever!

I got sick while home – in addition to my stomach.  It was obvious after the first few days when Dayquil wasn’t enough and I started to sound like I inhaled five packs a day that I would need an antibiotic to wipe this one out.  I went to Walgreens the first day and couldn’t seem to find Z-pack or Cipro in the aisles.  I asked the drug store clerk where I could find the antibiotics for a cold or flu and he looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language and said, “You know you need a prescription for those right?!” and laughed.  Righhhtttt – prescription.  In Thailand – you don’t need a prescription.  You simply walk into a drug store, describe your symptoms, and get whatever they advise, or whatever you ask for.  It takes no more than five minutes to get what you need and be on your way.  However, in the United States – it takes days.  I had to find a doctor that was willing to see me on such short notice, go through all the insurance paperwork, pay the fees, wait in the waiting room, see the doctor, describe my symptoms, have her shove popsicle sticks down my throat, take my temperature and blood pressure…and get that tiny precious piece of paper.  Then…drive back to Walgreens, giddily dumb-blonde grin at the same drug store clerk while I handed over the prescription, and wait…for ten day’s worth of stupid pills.

I really realized that although coming home was very familiar in so many ways, it also was extremely foreign.  I can honestly say that I struggled more in adjusting to returning home than I did coming to Asia.

Coming Home

My (Foggy!) City by the Bay...

In the same day I handed in a final exam, I went to a Rotary meeting, had dinner with friends and classmates, and got on a plane.  Somewhere in between I managed to pack everything and clean out my apartment fridge for which I would not see for the next two weeks and worried about critters.

I was headed home for the first time in 9 months to see my one and only younger sister graduate university.  And I couldn’t be more excited.

Perhaps you might not be able to tell my excitement from the plane ride, because I passed out for the entire thing.  As they came around to serve breakfast and the pilot said “30 minutes until we land in San Francisco” my head didn’t quite understand that I was HOME.

But 30 minutes later when I walked off the plane, my body was instantly reminded with the shock of the cool, foggy San Francisco weather, which chilled my bones it was so cold.  I laughed at myself and how after spending nine months in hot humidity, I suddenly was unable to tolerate my own weather from home.  It was cold.  I continued to wear sweatshirts throughout my stay home, and even wore some scarves and leather jackets.

Within a few hours of landing, I was in San Francisco with my Dad at a Giants game, and couldn’t be happier to be home.  I was so excited to be back in the Bay Area and see palm trees, familiar streets, and familiar foods.  Blue skies never looked so blue, and as I stared up into the sky I swore I had never remember how blue the sky can be except when in California.

It is good to be home.

Revisiting the Second Semester: (Nerd Alert!)

As I handed in my last final paper with a sigh of relief and scramble to board a plane for the United States for a short trip home (more blogs to cover that!) I realize that perhaps I didn’t describe my courses this term as best I could and decided to take this short opportunity to do it now:

In addition to my thesis (which is a course and a HALF in itself!), I had four courses this term.   

The first was Globalization which was taught by several professors and very interesting.  We had the opportunity to visit Maha Chai on a field trip and walk in the shoes of a migrant worker on the shrimp farm (See Blog post "A Broomstick Will Never Look the Same").  One interesting component of the class was that every week students were chosen to debate a topic and had to present arguments for or against an issue.  I had the honor of defending the concept that multinational corporations abuse human rights.  I was happy to have this topic, although perhaps I thought just this one time, it might be fun to argue the other side (multinational corporations promote human rights) – as I always like a challenge and normally would not have the opportunity to take “the dark side.”  However, I wound up liking this topic so much that I wrote my opinion piece on it – taking an alternative approach and writing as Justice Ruth Ginsburg of the United States Supreme Court, drafting a futuristic concurring opinion for the verdict on the usage of the Alien Tort Claims Act and whether it can be applied to corporations.  This is a current debate that is ongoing in the Supreme Court today via Kiobel v. Royal Dutch Petroleum.

In the elevator on one of our field trips to the World Bank!

My second course was The Politics of Public Policy which examined the stakeholders, parties and politics involved behind the scenes in public policy decision making.  We had the opportunity to visit the United Nations for conferences and have guest lecturers from around the world talk about their experiences with policy.  As you may know, I am quite the sucker for policy, law and reform, and in another life (or with a different salary) I would have loved to have gone to law school and study policy in-depth.  It was very exciting for me to hear about policy around the world and how different countries approach mapping policy.

Third was Migration where we learned about the international migration patterns around the world, refugee statuses, internally displaced persons, and more.  Some of us were fortunate enough to attend a multi-day field trip to the temporary shelters (refugee camps) along the border, which was perhaps my favorite trip of this entire program and a once in a lifetime opportunity.  I gush about these experiences in my blog, starting with the entry titled, "Mae La Refugee Camp/Temporary Shelter". 

Showing off our Chula Political Science Polos!

Lastly, my favorite course this semester was Conflict Resolution (or as we learned to call it, “Conflict Transformation” as after conflict there is often not resolution but a transformation of the conflict).  I was thrilled to be given the opportunity to have lecturers who were at the heart of resolving conflicts around the world – be it in Sri Lanka, Nepal, Aceh or Southern Thailand.  Having the opportunity to hear these lecturers describe peace building and negotiation and mediation strategies from the tables of some of the most important conflict resolution works in the world was unparalleled.  I thoroughly enjoyed writing my final term paper for this course, which analyzed the impact of the International Criminal Court (ICC) and how its recent verdicts (on warlords Thomas Lubanga and Charles Taylor) have set up a form of systemic conflict transformation – working to establish an international system and understanding on war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide, raise awareness, and deter others from doing similar actions in the future.  I found this course and this topic fascinating and seriously hope to continue working along these amazing talents in the future.

Thailand goes GAGA!

MAIDS goes GAGA!

On Friday May 25^th the MAIDS program went GAGA.  We put down our books, notes, research and laptops and set out to see Lady Gaga come to Bangkok.  What we didn’t know is that our own celebrity status would skyrocket.

For less than $10 we each were able to get outfits, wigs and accessories, got ready at my apartment, and then climbed in the back of a very generous Rotarian’s van – and all carpooled to the Gaga extravaganza.  Eddie (the Rotarian) was taking his 11 and 13 year old kids, who were mortified to be seen with us in our costumes.  As we entered the concert venue, they wouldn’t walk anywhere near us, and kept a good twenty feet in between us and them.  Waiting in line to pick up our tickets from Will Call, someone asked to take a picture with us.  All of a sudden, twenty cameras and videocrews showed up.   Not knowing exactly what to do, we stood there awkwardly, and then soaked up the moment with our best Gaga poses and monster claws.  All of a sudden, Eddie’s children popped out of nowhere, and posed with us.  Puzzled, I went after our paparazzi moment to ask Eddie what all of that was about.  He screamed “That was NATIONAL TV – you just made national television!  The kids thought you were all ‘cool’ now that you did that so of course they came to join you!”

Gaga's Lil' Monsters

Throughout the evening, we had phone calls and SMS messages from classmates, friends and even professors who saw our debu moment on television.  We made the papers with our best poses and had a blast.

Overall the concert itself was spectacular.  Seeing Thai culture embrace an American pop star was unique – but seeing how many Thai people came to see Lady Gaga was impressive.  55,000 strong, Thailand’s largest concert – ever.  She certainly was not welcomed all over Southeast Asia and was prevented from performing in Indonesia and heavily protested in the Philippines, but it was clear by the overpowering amount of adoring fans, that she was loved in Bangkok!