ROADBLOCK and Panic Attack

Handling rejection is something that no one is really great at, and I certainly am no exception.  But handling a VISA rejection to the country where you are scheduled to conduct research for your thesis one business day before you depart…is absolutely brutal.

Now, I am sure most of you are thinking “but this doesn’t sound like Ashley, it is SO last minute!”  No – it is not like me, and it isn’t.  I have been working with the Embassy for over two months now to obtain a precious research visa to Myanmar.  Many people told me I was crazy to try, because they never issue research visas.  However, the problem is that traveling under a tourist visa, you are not permitted to speak to the locals.  It was going to be physically impossible for me NOT to do this.  Seeing as how several alums from our program had been arrested and detained for this very issue while conducting field research in Myanmar, I decided I would avoid jail time and try my luck using ‘legal’ means.

The ugly and uninviting Myanmar Embassy in Bangkok

The process, which began over two months ago with my initial application, has been less than pleasant to say the least.  I am unsure why the country is so hesitant, but I have now submitted an application over four times with six letters of support and countless influential people helping me along the way.  I am not sure why it has been so difficult, but one younger, perhaps inexperienced Embassy staff member indicated that it was because I was an “American with a Political Science background coming from a University with ties to Aung San Suu Kyi and the NLD.  We think you might go try to meet The Lady.”  In the beginning when he mentioned this about a month ago, I was honored that the Embassy thought I was important enough to meet The Lady, and daydreamed about an opportunity such as this!  But today – after over a month of writing letters guaranteeing that I would not engage in political activity or start a democratic opposition I realize it has been nothing but a pain!  She isn’t even in the country while I am there!

I walked to the Embassy Friday, June 22^nd, holding my passport, my hands violently shaking.  This was it.  They always say there are those moments where you can’t turn back, and you can’t change things – and this was it.  Sure, I have had shaky hands before, and this wasn’t my first big performance/competition.  But this was the culmination of nine months of hard work, long hours in the library, blood, sweat and tears.  And today was the last day the Embassy was open before my pre-paid, scheduled flight to Myanmar left on Sunday.  I had hired a translator for three weeks who had taken time off work, I had scheduled meetings with important officials and NGOs, and I couldn’t change them.  Worse-off, was that given my two week vacation, my field research six week “gap” quickly became a four-week mandatory.  I couldn’t postpone, I couldn’t delay, and I couldn’t change.  I couldn’t go back.

My good friend and wonderful classmate Nin and I got up early on Friday, now known as V-Day (Visa Day).  We decided perhaps it would be best if I personally didn’t go into the Embassy, and so she went in to speak with authorities from the Embassy with my precious passport while I paced the street nervous around the corner.  She came out several LONG heart-racing minutes later and said, “Ash, you have to come back at 4pm.”  Ok.  So it’s not a NO, but 4pm – wow, they REALLY keep you hanging until the last possible second.  The office closes at 4:30pm.  So there was no Hail Mary pass available after this…it really was down to the wire.

The precious research visa!

 To end the long and dreadful suspense…I got my visa.  It was the longest Friday of my life, and I never want to relive that again.  I am incredibly thankful to all of my friends and supporters who helped make this possible, without which I never would see this holographic visa stamp in my passport at this very moment.

Now that those dreadful days are over, I’m off to scramble to pack and prepare for the field!  I leave in less than 24 hours and have A LOT to do, but couldn’t be MORE EXCITED :)