Thursday, September 13, 2012

T-Day: The Defense



My thesis committee after my defense!
I got to my room ridiculously early – with enough time to set up my presentation, layout my papers, run through my presentation, and check to ensure that my Myanmar tome was folded properly five thousand times.  As I fidgeted with nerves, trying to keep my cool (with assistance from the air conditioner which blasting freezing cold air), my external examiner entered, followed by my Chair, supervisor and co-supervisor.  Four gentlemen, three Thai, one Australian.

One deep breath, a smile, and I was on my way talking through my presentation.  When you have pictures to describe the people you met and the experiences you gained, it brings everything to life and I could sense that the committee enjoyed seeing these pictures which gave faces to the individuals I mentioned in the interviews.  I finished my presentation, took a deep breath and braced myself for what was to come.

Passed!
Every fierce competitor entertains the idea of a ‘worst case scenario:’ The Olympian receiving silver, the spelling bee champion who misses the silent “e” in the finals, the ballerina who falls from a twirl she had successfully recited ten times earlier that week.  The beauty pageant contestant who practices her “loser” face.  I always practice my ‘loser’ face, not because I welcome defeat, but because sportsmanship was engraved in my brain since I was a little girl playing bunch ball (or soccer – depending on how you watched the game).

To be blunt, no worst case scenario could have prepared me for my defense.  It was brutal.  While we don’t need to go into detail, the spitfire questions that the committee hounded you with, and the amount of disagreeance amongst the committee members themselves, made it incredibly difficult to decipher what was important to change or adapt, and what could be left.

Nevertheless, two weeks later and I come back with signatures and full approval from the committee – I PASSED my thesis, and received the highest marks of “Very Good.”

This learning experience has been tremendous – and the opportunity to travel to Myanmar and conduct field research is a chance I may never get again, and one that I will never forget.  I never thought the field would be so much FUN – and I never thought it would have such an impactful impression on me.

I am incredibly happy to have jumped the next hurdle – but still have mountains of paperwork before the finish.  I have until September 21st to submit everything and will be back under my massive boulder in the meantime!

Preparation for DEFENSE!



I didn’t really know how to prepare for my defense.  I had written, revised, revised, and revised my thesis.  I had practiced my presentation and remained within the 25 minute time limit.  I had laid out the clothes I was going to wear – two days before the defense.  What else could I do to better prepare myself?
 
I hadn’t really been in this position before – and didn’t know how to handle it.  So I decided to return to habit, following my “pre-race plan” from my rowing days at Lehigh.  I listened to my iTunes ‘Pump Up Music (Including the Pritchard traditions of “Eye of the Tiger” and the Rocky Theme Song”), and I loaded up on carbs by fixing myself an entire pot of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.  “Defense” was the only thing I could think of – and I began watching macho American football videos of ‘Top 10 Sacks in NFL History’ and ‘Defensive line Take Downs,’ hoping that my thesis would go down as easy as I watched on ESPN’s Top Ten.


 

Escaping the Thesis – “My Days Off”



For several days one week, I was hired by the Regional Center for Social Science and Sustainable Development (RCSD) to accompany them on a high-level capacity building workshop on the Return, Repatriation and Reintegration of Trafficked Persons.  There were five delegations from five countries (Myanmar, Viet Nam, Cambodia, Laos and Thailand) comprised of high-level officials within Ministries border guard and police forces that convened in Thailand for two weeks to discuss issues involving trafficked persons.  

Trafficked victims at the shelter
For three days, I had the opportunity to travel with them to various government agencies within Thailand, and learn about the current issues facing trafficked victims.  We mainly focused on government-sponsored shelters, where victims of trafficking were rescued and placed in a shelter until enough information could be collected to send them back to their countries safely.  In Thailand, the majority of trafficked victims come from Myanmar and are trafficked for migrant work (especially in fisheries) and sex work.  Other victims come mainly from Laos, Cambodia and Viet Nam – with a recent large influx of Vietnamese women trafficked as surrogates in Thailand.  We visited migrant shrimp factories and fisherman boats, migrant communities, and shelters where trafficked victims were being cared for.

Walking around the Kredtrakarn Protection and Occupational Development Center, where trafficked women and girls were sheltered, was surreal.  It was incredibly difficult to witness the interaction between border police, deputies, directors and officers with children from their own country.  The girls were separated by age, and as we would walk into each room, the delegations would say in their native language, “Raise your hand if you are from Myanmar? Laos? Cambodia? Thailand?”  These delegations would isolate girls from their country, and by going down a row of girls under the age of twelve, they found that some girls were trafficked from their state, their district – even one woman from her hometown.  As they smiled behind their sewing machines or grinned over their textbooks, these girls, no older than twelve, had been taken or sold from their home countries and villages and brought to Thailand for the purpose of prostitution.  In the nursery, one five year old girl from Myanmar was asked whether she knew why she was brought to Thailand.  “Yes” she said and her face lit up with acknowledgement of her knowing the answer, “Sex.”  The Myanmar delegation let out cries, gasps and sighs – we all did.  The Myanmar officer then asked her if she knew what “Sex” meant, and she looked at the floor and shook her head no but that her parents said it would help the family, so she had to go.  

With such emotional and difficult stories I had to restart my emotional intake button with each room we entered.  So many women and children with lives that were destroyed – and often by people whom they knew and trusted.  In one discussion, we met with trafficked women, who had been tricked by their own family members and neighbors, into ‘working in a Thai restaurant’ only to learn when they arrived in Japan that there was no ‘restaurant’ and they were sold into prostitution.
I had been feeling rather sorry for myself and incredibly stressed with school – I wasn’t sure if I could handle anything else and debated whether or not I could take this job.  After seeing the children, hearing their stories, and witnessing the interactions between these government officials and victims, you come out overwhelmed - thankful for all of the reasons you are so blessed.  In closing, I will leave one story, perhaps my favorite story, because it speaks about the wrongs of first impressions, perseverance, heartbreak and the start of rehabilitation.  In this moment, I realized exactly why I am so passionate about what I do, and why I wanted to continue working for development, and for victims such as these:

One of the Pakkred Boys getting a haircut!
At the Pakkred Reception Home for Boys, we learned about young boys – as young as six years old, who were trafficked across the border (often times by their parents) for work and sexual exploitation.  Listening to the Shelter’s Superintendent list statistics and describe stories of these children was gut-wrenching and difficult to absorb.  But what was most effective for me personally on this trip, was what came after the presentations and fact-reciting.  During one presentation, the breakdown of nationalities of children within the center was given.  One individual from the Vietnamese delegation stood up and asked to speak with this child, and was upset when the Superintendent stated that would not be possible because the child was protected.  She further explained that he has a very upsetting and emotional experience and was undergoing a serious criminal procedure to catch his perpetrators and for these reasons, was unable to be questioned or seen at this time.  If I learned anything from my time in Viet Nam – it is that Vietnamese people are persistent.  I grimaced watching the delegation huddle together and strategize and prepared for more trouble.  We received a tour of the facilities, and it was at this point I immediately recognized the strategy they had so secretively devised - the Vietnamese group had panned out, approaching each child, and quietly speaking in Vietnamese, waited for a reaction, or acknowledgement from one of the children that they understood the language.  On our tour of the facilities we observed the occupational room where boys were learning to be barbers; the arts and crafts room, where they were making bows; the education center where they were practicing their Thai; the physical fitness area, where they were playing football; and finally, the nursery.  And there he was.

It was difficult to watch these ministers, directors, and border guards reach out to a child from their country that they did not know or had never met.  Some cried, others smiled and spoke with the child, asking for his name and family back home whom the center had not been able to locate.  The man who I felt was incredibly arrogant with his questioning and demands to see the child in the beginning seemed aloof, as he took a step away talking on his cell phone, yelling to someone on the other end.  The Center volunteers and social workers were overwhelmed at this group’s persistence, but were overly cautious of the boy and kept telling the group to step back.  All of a sudden, the loudmouth Vietnamese man comes shoving past social workers and our group and presses his cell phone against the boy’s ear.  The boy’s face goes from sheer terror, to utter joy, and he exclaimed “Me?!” which is Vietnamese for “Mom?”  It turns out that he was the Director of the Department of Investigation with the police force on social-related crime within the Department of Police on Crime Prevention in Viet Nam.  He was within the Ministry of Police and spent the past twenty minutes calling every deputy in the region to locate this boy’s family.  Watching the power of these six people from Viet Nam – was not only impressive, but beyond inspirational.  I truly have no words.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Every Day is: Library Day



Monday – no wait, it is Tuesday.  Wait – what day is it?

Every day becomes library day.  You lose track of the days, and they all blur together.  Coming home on the subway tonight I thought, “Why are there so many people – its 10:30pm?!” and then it hit me – Saturday night in Bangkok.  Oh wow I completely forgot that #1: It is the weekend and #2 what it was like to have a social life.

I have spent so much time here - I couldn't help showing off my sweet work space
“Ash, you really should stop counting how many of those you eat – it’s not good to keep track of that,” says Megumi as I wolf down another 7 Eleven sandwich.  I lost track somewhere after 168…but the variety between pizza, ham and cheese, and tuna sandwiches keeps us going for months.

I move seats in the library or on the subway if someone starts coughing or sniffling.  I give them a look like, “It’s not you it’s me - I just REALLY can’t afford to get sick right now” or “I’m sorry, but my body has been living off of Coke and tuna for the past month and I just don’t think that really boosted my immune system enough to handle something else right now…”  I am officially paranoid.  I wash my hands with every opportunity I get and shove vitamins down my throat.  I try to talk to my body and think – ‘Ok, just a few more weeks, and then you can sleep and be sick all you want.  I know Coke and cheap microwaveable food isn’t the best, but what else can I do right now?!’   

Sustenance: Coke and Ham and Cheese Sandwiches courtesy of 7 Eleven
But through it all – I am excited.  I am excited with the results of my research, I am excited about the opportunity I had just come back from in Myanmar, and I am excited to share the people of Ngwe Saung’s story.  I write and write and write and each day, come home to review it, because I’m certain it isn’t enough to give their stories justice.  I want my reader to sense what I felt wandering around the village.  I want them to be able to see the dedicated parents who were working two jobs in order to keep their children in school.  I want them to know the hardworking hotel high school graduate who sent all of her income and earnings back home to support her family, and feel the toothless grin of that fisherman on the beach.  I want each detail, each story, to be incorporated in some way and I feel the pressure of accurately including and recounting each of their stories.  But they are amazing stories to tell and I am honored to tell them.

The Sprint that Lasts A Marathon


Are We There Yet?  This is PAINFUL!

Whoever was quoted with that phrase “This is not a sprint, it is a marathon – remember to pace yourself” has never been a student in this program.  It is a sprint that endures the time limit and length of a marathon – panned out over the course of a year with the most treacherous terrain known to man.  Instead of having your muscles burn from a paced run, you are wheezing and gasping for air just trying to get through each mile.

I arrived back from Myanmar and by the following morning, without even unpacking my bags, I found myself back in the library.  I had two and a half weeks to organize and internalize all of my data, find a brilliant solution/answer to my research questions, and write a little over 130 pages for my thesis, to be submitted to my supervisors for editing.  After that – it was another short 2 weeks until I had to defend my thesis in front of my committee of experts.

7 Eleven Fine Dining - Tuna Sandwiches and Dumplings
I always used to make fun of those people (mainly Americans) who were so isolated from international news, media and politics that they never knew what was going on in the world.  I used to say, with total amusement, “Do you live under a ROCK?!”  Well, I can officially say that for the past month during this crunch time – I lived under a massive boulder.  People would write me and ask, “Did you hear about so and so…?” or “Did you see what happened in ….”  Nope.  Unless it occurred within earshot of the isolated cubicle of mine in the library – I knew nothing.  I missed the Olympics which broke my heart, and I missed an entire month of my life.  Thanks to 7 Eleven which kept my brain fueled on Coke Zero and ham and cheese sandwiches for the month – I was able to work 12-15 hour days in the library in total isolation.

It got to the point where I began to make lists of things I could cut out from my normal routine to save time to work longer.  In the beginning, I cut out lengthy meals and stuck to microwaveable sandwiches and snacks.  But by week two, I realized this wasn’t enough, so I cut out laundry and Facebook.  Week three I began to cut out showers, which was unfortunate considering my clothes gave up showering a week earlier.  By the end…well it was just ugly.

Between the madness, I was able to jot down a few moments that I will share in this blog.  I will spare you the meltdowns (although don’t worry – they were there!) in describing what it is like to prepare, research, write and defend a Master’s thesis within three months.  Here we go…